nyanguard-party:

fer8girl:

goddamnshinyrock:

v-diggety:

did U GUYS KNOW, that the way stores get the balloons off of the ceiling is with ANOTHER balloon, w tape on the top??? and they just dont cut the string so it’s like super long and u gotta aim it right n reel it in. i just found that out today when i DID IT and it’s been the best working day of my life i had a blast blowing up balloons and fetching some off the ceiling. i had so much power? and NO ONE ELSE in my department likes that job so now it’s MY job when need be

omg so I work at a museum and one of our buildings has a) very high ceilings and b) a bizarrely sensitive alarm system that will go off if anything touches the ceiling. Because of this, helium balloons are considered public enemy #1 and are strictly forbidden from entering the museum. But just in case an illicit balloon is successfully smuggled in, the museum has acquired a fucking b.b. gun for the express purpose of shooting down rogue balloons.

lawful good vs chaotic good

chaotic evil

olliekirkland:

you are the dancing queen

nnipple:

when you try your best

but you don’t succeed

nikkimariesworld:

Light a candle directly in front of your automatic Glade spray air freshener that way every 9 minutes a fireball shoots across your living room table, intimidating your house guests, asserting your dominance in your domain

ibilateral:

Teasing a girl and making her a dripping mess before eating her out is so fucking good cause the moment your tongue comes in contact they literally melt and taste so fucking good.

greetings:

people that don’t put cases on their iPhones have the kind of confidence that I need

popcorn-fox:

honey-stick:

starlight-sanders:

pepperminthowell:

cappuccinohowell:

marquiis-de-la-baguette:

watermellens:

studyandlush:

open-plan-infinity:

twentyonelizards:

fihli:

poseidhn:

steveogers:

three internet trends i will (regrettably) probably never grow out of:

• typing in a cresCENDO TO EXPRESS EXCITEMENT
• …………..unnecessarily……. long……….. ellipsis’
• puttinfh a typo in eveyr other word to shwo u dont really give a fukc but u actually do

• also unnecessary!!!! punctuation marks??????? like…… ??? what is going on here????? i!! am!!! so!!! excited!!!!
  

• and™ totally™ unneeded™ trademark symbols™
  

personally I enjoy Random Capitalisation to show things are Very Important

• can we also talk about starting a sentence and then kind of just 
  

stating something reblog if you agree

dude this isn’t even a collection of memes, this is a demonstration of internet grammar… anyone who says that when you type and communicate on the internet you lose too much inflection to get the real meaning just doesn’t understand internet syntax. the evolution of language in action.

the Rosetta Stone of the twenty first century

Also :) doing :) this :) to express :) bottled :) pain :)

or,,,,,using commas,,,,,, for elipsis’ ,,,, bc,,, it sounds better,,, in your head,,,, than periods,,,,,,,

pu t ting sp a ces in your wor ds at r and om time s because w hat the fu ck

Is it just me, or did anyone else read all of these with different tones of voice, volume, and inflection?

Don’t forget the B I G S P A C E S F O R E M P H A S I S

wlwriot:

wlwriot:

wlwriot:

Today I called a girl homophobic as a joke and she almost started crying

She said “my neighbors are a lesbian couple! I’m the least homophobic person you’ll ever meet”

I said “Kelsea I’m really sorry I hurt your feelings but I need you to know that homophobic people can have lesbian neighbors” and she just got even more distraught and said “I’ve been inside their house and I wasn’t even afraid or anything”

AFRAID OF WHAT??

just-shower-thoughts:

we screwed up when calling it bisexual instead of ‘ambisextrous’

tentadog:

midcenturymama:

thefatebetweenus:

queerlybelovedones:

tito-burritto:

lesserkiwi:

anarchapella:

Unpopular opinion: straight people using “partner” to refer to their SO actually helps normalize the term so that lgbt folx can use it without automatically outing themselves to strangers. It also helps other straight ppl get comfortable with the fact that strangers aren’t entitled to information about other people’s gender or sexuality.

Give op their hard-earned notes

Tbh I hear “partner” and assume gay, I didn’t know straights used it. Very fair point, OP

I hear ‘partner’ and think ‘gay’ too. A girl at work used it for months and I just went with it. When she would say ‘he’ I even thought maybe he was trans*. Anyways, someone using partner makes me more comfortable and I came out to her. She was just an intelligent straight girl that liked the term and was knowledgeable in human sexuality so definitely someone I should have felt comfortable coming out too. It’s a good sign of a straight person uses it IMO.

As a mental health clinician, this is actually my blanket term when discussing any romantic relationship. I agree it normalizes it, but I also think it’s a relatively safe term to use to describe most romantic relationships without making any assumptions about the person’s orientation or identity. I also use the word “partnered” when describing a monogamous relationship status.

The term “partner” also removes the implied hierarchy of boyfriend/girlfriend vs husband/wife. This is relevant both to non-monogamous people, and unmarried individuals for whom the importance of their relationship isn’t dictated by its legal status. 

also you can make cowboy jokes

pizzaight:

turcl:

Estoy en el coche de mi mamá,

escoba escoba,

conseguir fuera me coche

♡ ♡ ♡

“You are the love of my life,

without you,

I am incomplete” 

automatically:

when I badly need to pee but there is a line for the toilets